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I've hit a vein. It was pathetic and I should have known better - actually I did know better, but I didn't let that stop me. It was like a silverback gorilla's mating ritual: My arms - dear lord, my arms! Did I take steroids to write a book, or did I write a book as an excuse to take steroids? As Clark Kent he learns that a crook named Gimpy is influencing kids to commit crimes for him and then calls the police to rat them out whenever they get too much trouble to deal with.

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The eventual understanding that a certain nobility underlay my grandfather's suffering, whereas mine was not much more than a masochistic stubbornness - I'd like to think that stopped me.

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In a few days time they had shrunk to half their normal size: It goes in easy enough but when I aspirate the syringe fills with blood: Get updates Get updates. So I typed 'steroids' into Google, which promptly introduced me to an internet scam. So imagine my surprise to find myself bellowing, shrieking and groaning. Fortune favours the brave.

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