Paula Hall, relationship psychotherapist with Relate. HN, via email You are the one left out in the cold To discover that the "love of your life" has been keeping such a big secret from you for all these years must have come as a devastating shock. You need time to come to terms with what has happened. Paula Hall, relationship psychotherapist with Relate What the expert thinks It would be extremely difficult for anyone to cope well with the changes you have experienced during the past few years. Allow your wife to be who she is There must be many women - I'm one of them - who discovered their true sexual orientation only after they had toed the conventional line of marriage and children.
However, you are also furious with her because she is not the person you thought she was, or the person you want her to be.
My wife's sexuality is tearing us apart
These are huge losses, and you must grieve for them before you can move on. More From This Author. Your wife's reason may be both understandable and unavoidable, but that doesn't change the fact that you are the one being left out in the cold. Even as the world is coming to terms with the number of self-confessed LGBT members, many out there are still in the closet and identifying them will require a keen eye. Flights redirected as volcano alert level raised. If it is too difficult to speak to people you know, consider seeing a counsellor or contacting an online support service, such as the Straight Spouse Network. We agreed that the family would follow on.